Comfortable Shoes

          I was hoping Nike or Adidas would grab this song and use it in their national advertising campaigns and pay me a whole bunch of money, but so far none of them are answering my phone calls.  I guess they prefer basketball players as spokesmen, rather than an old fart with fallen arches.

          For years I wouldn’t be seen in public without a pair of boots.  No tennis shoes for me, nossir, it was a point of pride, a statement made to the world about who I was and what I did.  I even saved up my pennies and had a custom pair made, a pair I still own, with high tops and two-inch heels.  They were built for riding and not walking, but I wore them no matter where I was going or what I was doing.  I was a cowboy, by God, and because of this my feet began to resent me, and harbor all manner of ill feelings toward me, and worst of all to send pain and discomfort my way to show me their displeasure.  I would stride out gamely in the mornings, and hobble home wincing in the evenings.  Once or twice every day I would sneak an opportunity to yank my boots off and rub feeling back into my toes.  It was shameful, such weakness, but I couldn’t help it.  As the months and years passed things only got worse.  My mood darkened.  I became ill-tempered, and terse with my friends and snippy with my dogs.  A black cloud hovered constantly overhead, and people began avoiding me.

          Finally I broke down.  I bought a pair of soft-soled, low heeled shoes.  With laces.  Actual laces, that you had to tie.  Every day.  And the sun began to shine once more.  The birds began to sing again.  There were rainbows everywhere, suddenly, and my patience and wisdom were restored to me and I was happy, and could look upon my fellow man with love and compassion. 

          I still wear boots if I have to climb on a horse for something, but the days of passionate refusal to face good sense are far behind me.   

 

Comfortable Shoes

 

The most under-rated thing in the world

Is comfortable shoes

You can have your money and your beautiful girls

Give me comfortable shoes

You can be king, you can be president

It don’t mean nothing if your toes are bent

More and more important the older I get

Give me comfortable shoes

 

If you ain’t snappy when you do your hoofin’

You need comfortable shoes

You can’t be happy if your dogs are woofin’

You need comfortable shoes

It’s hard to describe how good it feels

To bop around in slippers with run-down heels

You can’t over-state how broad the appeal

Of comfortable shoes

 

You remember ol’ Genghis Khan

He made lotsa people mad

He  might a been the whole world’s friend

If his footwear hadn’t been so bad

 

Makes no difference if you’re poor or wealthy

You need comfortable shoes

Corns and bunions just ain’t healthy

You need comfortable shoes

What’s the good of wearing Armani suits

If it hurts you to walk around in cowboy boots

What’s better than chocolate? Ask any old coot

It’s comfortable shoes

 

The secret to mankind’s happiness

Starts at the ankle bone

If Adam’d had ‘em in the Garden of Eden

He’d have left that apple alone

 

The most under-rated thing in the world

Is comfortable shoes

You can have your money and your beautiful girls

Give me comfortable shoes

You can be king, you can be president

It don’t mean nothing if your toes are bent

More and more important the older I get

Give me comfortable shoes

 

 

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